El Valle: A Town Inside A Volcano
Panama is the 23rd country of the world in which we’ve driven cars and there’s no way we could ever describe it as one of the hardest. Away from the most rural roads which can be a bit sketchy, the highways and even B-roads boast good quality, smooth surfaces and very little traffic compared to home. At times the PanAmerican resembles an empty Scalextric track as it rolls over and around the hillsides.
Our next destination, El Valle de Anton, is reputedly the largest settlement in the entire world which is located inside the caldera of a volcano, and as we make our approach on the steeply dropping hairpinned road, the shape of the caldera is clearly visible in the line of towering hills which encircle the town.
It’s fair to say that our time in El Valle does not get off to the best of starts. Our accommodation, at first impression, is a sizeable step down in quality from the last few and, as we take our first walk through town, it’s a game of running from shop canopy to shop canopy as the frequent heavy showers bucket down. A bland meal served by fiercely disinterested restaurant staff is regularly interrupted by the need to shoo off yet another stray dog – there are an awful lot of them wandering the streets and casting cow-eyed gazes at those with food. Dogs that is, not restaurant staff.
Sensing potential issues, we’d fumigated the house with our reliable bug spray before going out: now on our return the bed is peppered with the tiny black spots of dead flies, small enough to be barely visible but if these things bite then we’re in for a rough ride here. Sitting on the bed chatting, we can see more and more of these minute creatures mooching around the room and we start to feel less and less comfortable. The insect screens on the windows don’t quite fit and the little horrors have a clear route in.
Just as we are debating how serious our error of judgment may be, Michaela leaps up from the bed with a squeal and a face of total disgust: a giant cockroach has just crawled out from under her pillow right next to her shoulder. Now, we know by now with all our experience that bugs are an occupational hazard for the traveller, and encounters with unwanted intruders is hardly uncommon, but the thought that cockroaches may have overnight access to our bodies is a step too far and we know we can’t stay here.
It’s too late to change anything tonight, so we sleep fitfully, fully clothed and inside our “nod pods” (thank God we brought them), waiting for daylight. By mid morning the next day we are relocated into the Golden Frog Inn which is every bit as lovely as its name, set in gorgeous gardens in the foothills of the caldera and affording great views of these remarkable surroundings. Drama over.
El Valle is hiking country – you don’t have to clock the clothing of too many visitors here to work that one out – so our first full day is spent tackling two of the more popular trails. The first, the India Dormida Trail, takes us up the steep mountainside past a succession of waterfalls until we emerge above the tree line and out on top of the ridge way above the town. From up here, the views are absolutely fantastic, not just of El Valle itself but even more so of the circle of mountains all around.
It is a classic, perfect caldera, an almost complete ring rising above the plateau in which El Valle sits – so perfectly circular that as you look around, it’s absolutely possible to imagine the gigantic volcano collapsing in on itself over a million years ago. Standing up on the ridge soaking up this remarkable and unusual view is genuinely awesome, just thinking through the colossal seismic events which shaped this land, the legacy of which is the fertile ground which is El Valle’s raison d’etre. The volcano is of course long extinct: the population here is in no danger from future eruptions.
India Dormida, by the way, translates as “sleeping Indian woman” and it doesn’t take too much of a stretch of the imagination to see why. Study the line of hills in this photograph – can you make out the shape, the lady’s head to the right?
Supposedly, the “Indian lady”, named Luba, prostrated herself on the grassy savannah upon realising she had fallen in love with the wrong man – a Spanish soldier and thus a figure of revulsion to her own people – the mountains turning her to stone and subsequently taking on her shape to warn others of the consequences of fraternising with the enemy.
The trail is tricky in places, probably more tricky coming down than climbing up, due to the wet and slippery conditions underfoot, but the second trail, the Arboles Cuadrados (Square Trees) Trail is by comparison short and easy, and apparently the best place to spot the golden frog indigenous to this area and from which our new “home” takes its name. We don’t see any, and we’re not sure why the trees are called “square” either.
With good fortune the rain holds off for the duration of both hikes, then comes pounding in with typically tropical force just after we reach the refuge of our new home. Good timing. The pattern of our first two days here – hot sultry mornings followed by torrential afternoon rain – is apparently typical of the rainy season which is normally over by mid December. It’s hanging around a bit longer this year.
Unfortunately our hiking in El Valle ends there, partly due to finding trails inexplicably closed and barricaded off, partly due to a main road being resurfaced and access to the trailhead being in the closed section of road, and partly due to the fact that the tourist information centre has no trail maps and there seems to be none anywhere else in town. Oh, and a trail which you can only do with a guide and, according to the man at the gate, there are “no guides here today”. All a bit surprising for a place with a reputation for good hiking.
There’s a decent craft market in town though, but what will probably be our lasting memory of El Valle (apart from the cockroach in the bed) is just how heavy the rain is when it blows in, as it does regularly. This is pretty wet as dry seasons go.
As for El Valle’s restaurants….well, night one was, as we said, a bland meal served by disinterested staff. Night two, different venue, I only ordered the steak because Michaela fancied red wine with her meal and steak and red wine had a certain feelgood after hiking: it turned out to be a genuine contender for the worst, most inedible steak I’ve ever been served anywhere in the world, no exaggeration. Want to know how good the red wine was? So do we, because it never did arrive at our table despite chasing it numerous times.
Whilst picking my way through the obstacle course which is supposed to be a steak, half of the insect population of El Valle is, we discover later, munching on the flesh around our shins and ankle bones. There’s at least one fly round here who has eaten a lot more red meat than I have tonight.
We awake on our last morning in El Valle to torrential rain, winds battering the windows and bending the trees, and a noticeable drop in temperature (although such things are relative – it’s a “chilly” 23C) and cloud cover which obscures the mountains. To our dismay we also wake up to this….
With the help of the staff at the Golden Frog and the fast and efficient guys at the local tyre place we are soon on our way and only 4 dollars out of pocket. We leave El Valle without too many boxes ticked – this town is in a terrific setting but it managed to give us few other reasons to be cheerful, what with its heavy rain, disappointing mealtimes and inaccessible hiking trails.
Next to the Canal Zone and the small town of Gamboa…
26 Comments
normareadtalktalknet
Eeeek😱
Phil & Michaela
Indeed!
Andrew Petcher
But still a great experience. A flat tyre is always an inconvenience.
Phil & Michaela
I actually thought of you, Andrew, as I “enjoyed” that first meal, having to shoo away another stray dog every few seconds. You would not have enjoyed that with your opinions on dogs!
Andrew Petcher
That would have spoilt my meal. On the other hand I don’t mind stray cats.
Suzanne@PictureRetirement
When you travel as much as you guys do, there is going to be a skunk in the bushes once in a while. At least you got in two good hikes.
Phil & Michaela
That’s very true – there’s been lots of incidents before (including a bat flying round the bedroom) but a cockroach under the pillow was a proper yuk moment!
Monkey's Tale
Well I guess Panama has to have one dud town, but I agree on your assessment of the roads. We found their roads in excellent condition. The lack of guides reminds me of the Monty Python skit at the Cheese shop that has no cheese! 😊 Maggie
Phil & Michaela
😂
wetanddustyroads
Just by looking at that pink house, I had my doubts! Oh, but fortunately you had hiking trails (the “no guide trail” is a bummer). And I can even make out the “sleeping Indian woman” – though, if you didn’t tell me she was Indian, I wouldn’t know that bit of info 🙃. Pity about the tasteless meals … and I’m not saying anything about the insects (that’s my ticket out of here)!!
Phil & Michaela
The pink house looked a lot better on booking.com than it did when we arrived!
Toonsarah
Oh dear, not the best of places overall 🙁 I’m glad you managed to find that much better accommodation and the views look lovely, but otherwise not much seems to have gone your way. Onwards and upwards, as they say – hopefully the next stop will prove better 😀
Phil & Michaela
You can’t win em all I guess!
Heyjude
What a bummer! Though I think we could equal you with all that rain. The razor wire around that building in the last photo is not very welcoming either, did you feel safe there? And do you have a budget for your trips? Or is it simply a case of spending what you have to once you arrive in a place. Hope the tyre holds out.
Phil & Michaela
Well, in terms of protecting property, that kind of sight isn’t uncommon in Central America…we’ve seen it here, and throughout Costa Rica and Mexico. Bars on windows, metal fences, locked gates etc…but we’ve always felt safe. We do have a budget, but we’re lucky enough for it not to be too restrictive…our trouble is more that we’re always looking for a bargain and sometimes we get our comeuppance!
Heyjude
Ah, well, yes cheapest isn’t always best, but you do seem to have found some great places and I guess you can move on if things aren’t right.
grandmisadventures
bugs in bed with you is definitely a hard pass so I’m glad you relocated to somewhere better. I love the hikes you went on though- incredible! 🙂
Alison
That has to go down as the worst possible place to stay, how you stay positive, I’ve no idea! So many disasters but the views certainly made up for it. I could see the Indian Lady straight away and she is certainly impressive. I hope the next venue turns out better especially the accommodation. 🙂
Phil & Michaela
Oh you won’t believe how much better!
Alison
That’s a relief, now you can laugh
Mike and Kellye Hefner
Travel gives us surprises at every turn – some good, some not so good. I am so impressed that you managed to spend the night in the pink house of horrors. I would’ve been sleeping in the car! With that said, El Valle from above looks like a beautiful destination. The next destination will surely be better. Safe travels.
Phil & Michaela
Yes El Valle pretty unique and very picturesque with the caldera surrounding the town, but lacked in other departments!
WanderingCanadians
That’s so gross about the giant cockroach crawling out from under the pillow. At least you saw it before going to bed! Glad to hear that you survived the night and were able to find somewhere better to stay. My interest peaked at El Valle being hiking country. The landscape looks gorgeous.
rkrontheroad
Oh well, they can’t all be wonderful. At least the staff was kind enough to help with your tire so you could leave! When I lived in Guatemala, I had a stray cat that came around. I put out some cat food when he showed up. One time I left it out for a while in case he came back to finish and, in no time, it was totally covered in insects, large and small. Yikes!
Phil & Michaela
We don’t normally get freaked by such things but…
Annie Berger
Not wild about bugs, cockroaches, either even if there are fabulous views around! Glad you were able to so easily find another place to stay that was better.