Street Food, Food Wars & This Unfair World: Port Antonio To Falmouth
We always think there’s something exciting about it when foods with unfamiliar names appear on the menu, and for reasons we can’t quite grasp, it’s even more exciting when it’s breakfast. So to discover that the traditional Jamaican breakfast is ackee and saltfish with johnny cakes and bammy is just irresistible. A side dish of callaloo? Even better!
Jamaican food is tasty, often hot and spicy and full of unusual ingredients – though they do like to surround the tasty dishes with a large amount of rather weighty, carb-heavy accompaniments. And by the way the stories are true, there’s certainly no scrimping on the amount of alcohol in the cocktails here – slug them at your peril!
One message we would give to would-be visitors to Jamaica is: don’t be afraid to go for the street food. Curry goat, brown stew chicken, hearty soups and patties are everywhere, and almost always delicious. Patties, if you don’t know, look like Cornish pasties which have been put in a trouser press.
Jerk is probably Jamaica’s most famous ingredient, so we make our final excursion from Port Antonio a trip to Boston Beach, said to be the very place where jerk was invented. Sure enough, a huddle of jerk shacks between the unmade road and the oh so pretty beach tells us we are in the right place. It’s OK, but in truth isn’t the best jerk we’ve tasted so far, despite its claims on originality.
As we order our food, voices are being raised all around us, and it slowly starts to dawn that there is some sort of dispute between shack owners which is reaching fever point. One – let’s call him Jay – is seriously agitated, yelling right in the face of those on the other side of the argument. We can barely catch a word – angry Patois is a whole other level of difficulty.
Finally Jay really loses it and hurls a full bottle of Red Stripe (cap removed) straight at his adversaries, and all hell breaks loose. Everyone from every shack is on their feet, all shouting at once, remonstrating, some trying to calm it down, others taking sides in the war.
Now, we think of ourselves as not being stereotypically British. Yet here we are, mayhem all around us, sat at our table and carrying on with our meal as if everything is perfectly normal. Stiff upper lip. British stoicism. We must look like Sid James, Joan Sims and co in “Carry On Up The Khyber” steadfastly taking tea while the building around them is being bombed.
Next morning it’s time to pack the bags, load the car and say goodbye to Port Antonio. Driving west along the coast is something of a revelation: the changes are absolutely palpable. Leaving the rural east behind and heading into the more visited western half, road surfaces become infinitely better and eminently more driveable, hotel complexes grow larger and more and more white faces are evident. White visitors means investment, evidently.
We pass through great little coastal towns: Annotto Bay, Port Maria and Oracabessa all look lovely, but we take an excellent brunch break at Ocho Rios, the first real resort town of our Jamaica tour. It may be a popular tourist destination but it feels extremely welcoming in our brief stop here: they’re even free with “advice” when I drive the wrong way down a one-way street!
Throughout the journey to our next destination at Falmouth, we have one eye on the clock. England play Senegal this afternoon and we need to make kick off. Ending up in a bar where the locals are clearly on the side of the opposition, England stroll to a second successive 3-0 win and we are the only drinkers celebrating. At the final whistle we take the magnanimous congratulations of the local punters and walk back down Duke Street with broad smiles. Yeah man. Irie.
Heading back out for our evening meal, the same bar is very busy and extremely rowdy, but the rest of Falmouth is quiet. Groups of people hang around in the street, but all of the restaurants on the Google map are either closed or non-existent. It seems Sunday night is not the time to arrive in Falmouth.
So we go to bed having eaten nothing since our brunch in Ocho Rios – and when we say nothing, we don’t just mean no meal, we mean that not a crumb has passed our lips since this morning. By the time we find somewhere open for breakfast on Monday morning, we’ve not had a morsel of food in 21 hours. “Hungry travellers” indeed!
To be frank, Falmouth is a bit odd. There are some lovely old Georgian houses – Jamaica’s best apparently – but this is a town of strange clashes. Rustic, obviously not affluent, maybe a little basic…yet almost daily the cruise ships dock, thousands of passengers disembark, but most of them hop straight on to their shuttle buses and head to inland sights.
For the very small percentage of passengers who wander around the town, craft market stall holders set up, hoping and praying that just a few of the dollars head their way. On our second day here, two ships dock, with 6,000 passengers between them. We see no more than a few dozen of them in town. Our heart bleeds for the people of Falmouth; such riches, so many customers, all kept just out of reach, and all heading back for their sumptuous meal on board while these guys have so little. It’s not a fair world, is it.
Just out of town is the “876 Beach Club” described thus on the internet….”the party is always kicking here with lively music and entertainment, a large floating water park for endless play, a sizzling jerk pan taking care of lunch and snacks, a well-stocked bar and beautifully maintained grounds and facilities”.
We call in there and find a desolate scene where there’s just us two, three staff twiddling their thumbs with nothing to do, a derelict bar, deserted buildings and seaweed strewn across the sands. One forlorn guy tries to sell us a few beads. Music and food? Not a chance. COVID has killed these places, killed these livelihoods.
And then they have to watch the cruise passengers disappear back and forth on their minibuses.
From Monday night the bars and jerk shacks of Falmouth are back up and running, the Sunday impasse over. We indulge in a few Red Stripes, a few coconut rums and a jerk bowl each. It’s not much to help the plight of these people, but what else can we do. At least we’re in an airbnb within a family home and not away on the boat tonight.
Travel is full of lessons. Some harder than others. Puts going to bed without dinner in perspective, doesn’t it.
36 Comments
Latitude Adjustment: A Tale of Two Wanderers
Looks fabulous. Are you affected by the State of Emergency declared by the President? Be safe!
https://edition.cnn.com/2022/12/07/americas/jamaica-state-of-emergency-intl/index.html
Phil & Michaela
No not in the slightest, thank you for checking. We’ve picked up bits from TVs in bars but other than that we wouldn’t even know about it, there’s no visible evidence and nobody is talking about it! Mention it in bars and they shrug and say “It’s Jamaica”…
Monkey's Tale
Are Johnny cakes like fry Jack’s in Belize?
Phil & Michaela
No not really, not as nice as fry jacks. Jonny cakes are more like deep fried balls of corn dough the size of a golf ball roughly..and they’re a bit on the stodgy side.
Andrew Petcher
We are England, everyone hates us.
Have you come across any of this anti colonialim/slavery anger yet?
Phil & Michaela
Absolutely not Andrew, quite the opposite. Jamaicans are of course very aware of the history of this island but are fiercely proud of how they’ve risen from those terrible times, and the latter is obviously much more important. We are being made extremely welcome – and it increases when they realise we’re British and not American. Several people have told us that Jamaica still considers itself to be “same family” as Britain, and one guy told us that in all,legal transactions and in all Court cases, all parties still swear allegiance to the monarchy. Like so many other things currently, the anger exists in the minds of those who are offended on behalf of others.
Andrew Petcher
And in the Brish press.
Phil & Michaela
I was actually going to start my first reply to your question….”don’t believe all you read in the papers “….!
rkrontheroad
I had to laugh at the two of you sitting and eating dinner with a melee around you! Perhaps they would giggle at that, as well as your accent?! Planning food can sometimes be a challenge. My son and I would often pick up a few things to keep with us in case of finding things closed. I do love that photo in Falmouth of the crooked white fence.
Phil & Michaela
We certainly laughed at ourselves and at our Britishness! Yes that cottage pic appealed to us too, it just looks exactly how we imagined Caribbean towns to look. Falmouth has plenty of houses exactly in that style, too.
mochatruffalo
Jamaican beef patties are the bomb!
Mike and Kellye Hefner
Sad, isn’t it, when life is so unfair. When we went to Jamaica years ago, we took a tour away from the tourist spots and it was evident (at that time) that Jamaica’s two industries were drug trafficking and tourism. The condition of the schools broke our hearts and many times we were approached by children selling drugs. Oh, and I am very impressed that you two brave Brits kept on eating through a rowdy “bar fight”.
Phil & Michaela
The gulf in wealth is often sadly obvious when we travel, somehow it seems more blatant when cruise passengers swan in and out.
Mike and Kellye Hefner
Yes, I can imagine. But as you said, life isn’t fair.
Alison
I laughed at the Sid James and Joan Simms description, just sitting there with jerky flying around.
Sad about the cruise passengers just passing through, obviously Falmouth is not on the itinerary. It’s nice you both have been made to feel so welcome. The beaches look very inviting.
Nothing worse than going to be hungry, makes me so hangry 😂
Phil & Michaela
Yes it was funny Ali – though with war breaking out around us I’m not sure everyone would have seen the funny side!
Alison
I suppose not but you can still be empathetic and keep your humour
Phil & Michaela
Absolutely!
Toonsarah
I laughed at your account of the jerk shack ‘war’ and your very British response 🙂 But you’re so right about the cruise ships and I would also include the all-inclusive resorts. Many people either never leave their resort or do so only on bus tours to the big sights. Although we didn’t travel around as much as you are, we made sure to stay in a locally owned and run boutique hotel in Ocho Rios (still one of my favourite places of the many we’ve stayed in) and a small scale hotel in Negril, eating and drinking in local bars too. It’s the least we can do when the locals are so hospitable and welcoming.
Phil & Michaela
Yes exactly, all inclusives are the same, contributing so little to the local economy.
grandmisadventures
I can completely understand your feeling about breakfast in another place feeling more exciting. You expect other meals to be different in their own way, but breakfast is a class of food to itself and there’s no telling what it means where you are. A very poignant comparison between those on and off the ships and those so dependent on them for their livelihood. Life is unfair, and you really see the chasm of it in moments like that.
Phil & Michaela
Definitely
WanderingCanadians
Sounds like you had quite the show to go with your food! I mean, it’s not like you’d want to get involved in the brawl, so why not just eat your food!?
Phil & Michaela
Exactly!
leightontravels
The beaches are alluring and the food looks incredible. Sad reading about all the people just ignoring Falmouth and heading straight for their buses. Love the image of you two sitting casually and eating your food in the middle of the jerk shack brawl.
Phil & Michaela
….and a rare film reference too!
wetanddustyroads
I’m impressed with the street food – we love patties (in fact, it’s going onto the ‘braai’ this evening)! Boston beach looks very inviting – sitting there and enjoying a rum cocktail sounds like a plan! Oh, without food for 21 hours … that would probably be enough for me to start a fight! Shame, I really feel for Falmouth’s people with all those tourists ignoring them!
Phil & Michaela
I wonder if these are the same “patties”, the Jamaican version is kind of like a flat pie, meat and sauce inside pastry. Served very hot! Yep the 21 hours was a tester! But we survived….!
wetanddustyroads
No, those are not the patties we know …. Jamaican versions sounds like a winner (well, except for the ‘hot’).
Annie Berger
Never been to Jamaica or elsewhere in the Caribbean – you certainly paint a colorful tale of your time in Falmouth with the jerky ‘dispute’ but also the sad dichotomy of those with and without money and opportunities.
Phil & Michaela
It already seems quite a while ago that we were in Falmouth!
Annie Berger
I can only imagine it’s been a long while since you were in Falmouth. I plead guilty to only getting around to your older posts now!
Phil & Michaela
🙂
Phil & Michaela
You are excused!! How’s the injury?
Image Earth Travel
The food looks delicious! Thanks for sharing such great photos and tips.
Phil & Michaela
Thanks guys, yes Jamaica was an interesting destination!