Red Sea Coast And Other Stories
We wander around the unfamiliar territory of a resort hotel like two kids on their first day at a new school, not knowing what we’re meant to do or how the whole thing works. When researching where to stay round here, we’d had to Google the term “animation team”, as it meant nothing to us. It’s one of the things on our learning curve now.
The barman speaks to us in German and is amazed when we say we’re English. He’s delighted, too, whispering that he’s a bit fed up with bad manners and it’ll be nice to have some “polite English” to serve for a change – make of that what you will. A little later, after dinner, the “animation team” become appropriately animated and it’s clear from the noise around the corner that the Germans are gathering for some sort of evening entertainment. We can’t help but think this is a kind of modern version of Hi-De-Hi. Or maybe given the clientele it’s Heil-De-Heil.
It’s been a six hour drive from Aswan to get here, our courteous driver Mohamed (yes, really – another one), doing well to keep his eyes open as we traverse miles and miles of dead straight road through miles and miles of nothingness. The unforgiving desert is barren and featureless for an awful long time, and we probably see more police checkpoints than we do trees.
Before the desert stretch we’d passed through a number of fascinating oasis towns, including one which is surely the epicentre of the sugar cane industry, with tractors and trailers carting heaps of the stuff and one of the famed sugar cane trains loaded up waiting to go. The little town is an absolute hive of activity, and the last piece of recognisable civilisation for about three of the six hours.
So Happy Barman serves us our first beers – confusingly they serve Germans an Egyptian beer called Napoli – and it’s time for us to find our way in this unfamiliar world. This place is “all inclusive”, something we’ve absolutely always said we’d never do – but there’s nothing else here, just one resort every half mile and acres of desert rock in between. And besides, we can’t really have an opinion unless we’ve tried it for ourselves.
What’s not surprising is that, given that everyone is likely to be filling their boots in order to maximise value for money, there’s constant efforts to sell extras. Boat trips, town trips, fishing trips, diving, snorkelling and spas being offered every few minutes…and all priced in euros rather than Egyptian pounds. They seem surprised when we tell them we don’t have euros in England.
On our second evening we approach the bar feeling rather serene having indulged in our first “extra”, a hammam style treatment with full massage. Happy Barman has already seen his favourite English couple walking over and is pouring my beer as we walk in. Trouble is, Napoli beer is gassy and wheaty and feels like a perfect recipe for indigestion as it goes down.
“All inclusive”, it seems, means “local” drinks are included but not “imported” ones, which must be paid for. The cocktail we tried last night had a dominant taste of poor quality rum, regardless of whether it actually contained any rum at all. Tonight, Michaela’s gin and tonic tastes of…poor quality rum. The red wine has a bouquet of 2-stroke and tastes like an unwashed ashtray, and is impossible to like. There’s a theme developing here!
We came here determined not to fall into a trap of over indulgence given that food and drink is free – or, more accurately, already paid for – but any chance of over indulgence is already looking unlikely if the booze is anything to go by. Disappointingly though, there’s not a fresh juice to be found anywhere in this place – the “juices” are syrup- and sugar-filled concentrates which taste like bad kids’ drinks.
The food though, so far anyway, is fine. Mass catering on this scale is never going to blow our minds but there’s plenty of choice and it’s all enjoyable if unspectacular. No complaints actually.
At certain points during the daytime and evening, one diminutive member of the animation team comes over all animated and wanders round the place announcing the next public event, using a descending 2-chord call which sounds like she’s calling the cat in for dinner. “Yoooooo-ga” in the afternoon, “kiiiiids-play” early evening and “shooooow-time” when it’s time for the Napoli-charged Germans to go see what’s on stage tonight.
Outside of Camp Sunshine (not its real name), life goes on. Waves break over the coral reef a couple of hundred yards from shore, the pale sun rises and steadily heats up, the sea breeze kisses the palms and cools the air in precisely the way the scorching desert wind of Aswan didn’t.
Between the palm trees and the pools, the lush lawns are fringed by colourful flower beds, pretty pathways lead between villas and birds are ever present, including hoopoe and a whole host of wagtails with yellow bellies as bright as canaries. Two white egrets either strut around the pool or, incongruously, raid breakfast tables for scraps, competing with sparrows and a menacing crow or two.
It’s isolated here. Somewhere out there there’s people’s day jobs, there’s life’s everyday stresses, there’s wars and there’s pandemics and there’s tragedies, but none of them penetrate the walls of Camp Sunshine and, if they do, a few Napolis and a few cocktails tasting of poor quality rum send them packing. And of course that’s why people like it. Escape from humdrum for two weeks a year, just how it used to be.
24 Comments
wetanddustyroads
You surely had an interesting drive to your ‘Camp Sunshine’ … although mostly desert area, I like the look of the oasis towns. Ah well, the view from your room at ‘Camp Sunshine’ is at least pretty cool. Maybe that’s what you should do – switch off for a while and forget what’s going on in the rest of the world! But I presume one can do that only for that long, before …
Phil & Michaela
Well, we’re at least getting some amusement from watching what’s going on around us here…as you will see from our next post…!
Andrew Petcher
Resort hotels are ok sometimes but I know what you mean about the drink. I once went to an all inclusive with my daughter and her children. One day about tea time Sally said “Dad, do you know that you have had six beers today already?” This was probably true, I wasn’t counting myself and I had to defend myself by pointing out that the beer was so weak and the glasses never fully filled.
On another occasion we spent two nights in a resort hotel in Kos and talking to the young man in the room next door he didn’t even know that he was in Greece, he said that his girlfriend always took care of holiday bookings. How sad.
Phil & Michaela
Err….blimey. That’s not good!
Gilda Baxter
Your “camp sunshine “ looks very serene. Are you doing some snorkelling or diving there? The under water world along the RedSea is amazing. We used to go scuba diving there regularly back a few years ago. Enjoy relaxing 😎
Phil & Michaela
Not had chance yet Gilda – the sea’s been too rough so far and the red flags are up.
Phil & Michaela
Not sure we’ll be drinking much here. It really is poor quality. By the way, I was kind of hoping you picked up on my “Hi-De-Hi” joke….little bit non PC…
Andrew Petcher
I certainly did!
giacomoasinello
Mein Holiday Kampf!
Phil & Michaela
Oh wow I sooooo wish I’d thought of that line!
WanderingCanadians
It’s neat to see the contrast in the landscape at Camp Sunshine compared to when you were driving. That’s too bad that the drinks are not so premium (despite what the label on the bottle of gin says), but at least the food is decent.
Phil & Michaela
It’s getting amusing here…see next post…you just have to see the funny side!
Phil & Michaela
Oh and yes, that gin is absolutely awful…doesn’t taste the slightest bit like gin!
Toonsarah
That drive through the desert looks rather good in its way – I love those empty regions with huge skies! And the little oasis town looks fascinating. As for Camp Sunshine it sounds much like our one experience of an all-inclusive resort, for a few days at the end of our Cuba trip. Weak cocktails, organised fun (although in our case the shows were actually not bad) and just OK food. Although we’ve done a few resorts since then (they’re quite good for a few days unwinding between busy touring holidays and the return home), we steer clear of all-inclusives, preferring to pay as we go. That way we can have better quality food and drink and not pay for unwanted entertainment and activities! Having said that, your place looks like it has its plus points, with the view of the sea, beach and bird life 🙂
Phil & Michaela
Yes…see next post….you have to see the funny side…
Alison
It does sound very Butlins and you know what those Red Coats were like! Enjoying your stories although I think I’m a few days behind
Phil & Michaela
Well, we’re starting to see the funny side of things here, as you’ll see from next post. It could be a long week!
Alison
Are you getting up at 5am to reserve your sunbed with your towel
Phil & Michaela
Fortunately it’s not busy enough for that – but incredibly it still goes on!
Annie Berger
Likewise never heard the term ‘animation guides’ before – sounds like a poor imitation of a children’s camp with (weak) alcohol thrown in. I guess you’re no longer at least being harassed and subject to intimidation by unruly operators to look on the bright side. Where are you – Sharm-El-Sheik? Hope your travels in Egypt improve.
Phil & Michaela
No, the other side of the Red Sea..in El Quessir, south of Hurghada.
Monkey's Tale
Thanks for the warning! At least the view from your room is nice 🤣 Maggie
Phil & Michaela
And there’s some amusement in watching the people here!
grandmisadventures
I think you have found a new favorite car game of what interesting things you see on the road- bonus points for the camel in the truck. So interesting to see such different sides of this area.